Shadow Reborn
by Sithmor
Summary: You've been reborn as Shikamaru. You don't know why. You don't know how. Choices must be made, character and strength of will are tested. The ninja world aren't sparkles and glory. It's a grey world out there. OC-insert. AU
1. Chapter 1

**Authors Note:** This is my first attempt at writing fanfiction! Criticism is welcome!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto. This is a non-profit work of fiction and all copyrights to the Naruto manga and anime are retained by their original owners.

**Shadow Reborn**

**Prologue – Death, Sleep, Nothingness**

Can you imagine yourself before you were born? Or perhaps describe the sensation you feel when you fall into a deep slumber, when you wake up with no knowledge of the moment you've slept. Nothingness. Void. Abyss. Death.

I jolted awake. My whole body feels weird, different, dislocated. My senses are jarred, and my limbs are unresponsive. It feels like I had just ran a marathon, exhaustion and a mental headache are my symptoms. Was this heaven or hell? Am I still alive then…a miracle. I awoke from my deathbed and into what seems to be the arms of man. There's a sense of _wrongness _in that statement, as I was carried like a bundle of cloth, the wind rushing past my body amidst a scenery of green and brown. I distinctly remembered my _body_ being bigger than this.

A gruff voice shouts "Shikamaru! Stay awake!", and I heard the mixture of concern and _desperation _in those words. I glance upward to see a man with a goatee, scars on his weathered face, hair tied up in dark ponytail that looks like a pineapple. We weren't flying, but _jumping_ from rooftop to rooftop. I glance around as I see people with headbands with a symbol that seems strangely familiar.

I would have to admit that the fact that my consciousness has merged with a 4 year old boy, known as Shikamaru Nara, tactical genius and master strategist did not occur to me as I was rudely awoken. It was only when I woke up that I realised that the person carrying me was Shikaku, no, my _father_, and that he spoke in a Japanese hybrid language. And that I could understand him. The implications of the fact that I was reborn into the Naruto world was lost to me in the moment, as I woke up from my deathbed into this new world.

My eyes grew heavy, my body was _exhausted_ and waking up from my deathlike state seemingly moments before has not done wonders to my mental state. Darkness enveloped me, as I felt the man speed up.

Consciousness returned slowly. The white ceiling that is the same for all hospitals is the first thing I see. It was all a dream then. I haven't died yet. I had dreamt myself as Shikamaru in the world of Naruto to escape the pains of life. It was just an escape in my mind then, a retreat from the rigors and suffering of my disease. As I rubbed my eyes with my tiny fingers that looks so much like a child's…wait. I glance at my body. Instead of a disease riddled body of a man, I have the soft supple body of a child. _This wasn't my body!_ No what are you talking about. _This is my body!_ I mentally screamed as I realised that I had two sets of memories inside my brain. One set had a bustling modern city, university lectures, my _happy_ life, then the revelation of a terminal disease, lying sickly in bed, the void. Another was _his. _Shikamaru. Learning a new language, how to write and read. The revelation that he was a genius. Moving through exercises to improve flexibility and strength. Unlocking his chakra. Going through the ritual all Naras go through at the age of 4. The ritual to unlock their ability to utilise their shadow techniques. Gazing into the abyss and _dark void_. Pain, fear, and death.

The memories and mannerisms _merged_. There was no way to describe it. Memories of my past life dulled, becoming blurry and weakened, as the memories of a child genius came to the forefront. My parents were Yoshino Nara and Shikaku Nara. My name is Shikamaru Nara. I am only 4 years old. I am _not _living in a _manga world_ and I do _not_ have another person in _my_ head.

**NO!**

I am both. I am one. It doesn't matter now. My head feels clearer than ever before. No drug addled state of mind or pain to dull my thinking. Actually…my mind is better than before, even when I was healthy. Faster. More focused. I am Shikamaru Nara. I have knowledge of the future. This is going to be easy, I'll use my foreknowledge to realise what I need to study up on, help Naruto, destroy Akatsuki, kill anyone that stops my way…WAIT!

I am Shikamaru. A life of ninja, the type that assassinates, interrogate, tortures, soldiers in a war. Any ninja is going to be dangerous. Why am I even thinking of going up to face Akatsuki! By all rights they were so strong that all the ninja villages had to team up together to fight. No. Scrap that plan. Become an average civilian, move far away from this land and the war that'll be coming soon. Perhaps get a picture perfect family, one daughter, one son, where I can just chill and live in peace…WAIT!

Ok. Let's focus.

I do not know why I am still alive and reborn as Shikamaru. I am currently in the body of a 4 year old, who already feels smarter and stronger than I was back in my old life. I will need to find out if reincarnation is the norm here in this world. Do normal physics still apply? By all rights people were speeding by at speeds that should not be possible. The human body cannot move at those speeds in the real world. But I'm in the Naruto world now aren't I? Resurrection, different dimensions, demons, sentient chakra. Why not combine a consciousness from Earth to the Naruto World?

The thing that I do know is that I am the Nara Clan heir. In canon, Shikamaru was unassuming, and lazy in the beginning, hiding his true intellect. He then rose up quickly to become the first Chūnin in the Rookie Nine, which is quite frankly, insane, because all of Rookie Nine were monsters, the best of the best, the hopes and futures of practically all the clans in Konoha. Described as thinking 200 steps ahead of his opponents. Fighting off the most dangerous people in the world and actually winning. Becoming the master strategist in the battle against the Ten Tails. I do not know what happens afterwards. Did they win? Of course they did. It was a _shounen manga. _The good guys always win. But this is real life. I am actually here, alive as Shikamaru. I do not know what would happen if I just left to become a civilian. But I don't think that's an option. I am the Nara Clan head, and it'll be highly suspicious if I suddenly decided to become a civilian, not to mention my critical role in helping in the effort against crazy people that tries to conquer the world. Already my relationships with my father and mother…Yoshino and Shikaku is compelling me to help them. Konoha is my home.

With a groan and the words "how troublesome" coming to mind, I decide to focus my mind on becoming a shinobi. First of all, being a ninja is to walk the line between life and death. Ninja is to kill. I was just an engineer back in my world. I can support fighting and killing in self-defence, and to stop crazy maniacs from taking over the world. But this was the real world. It's not in black and white. Can I kill someone to further the cause of Konoha? To torture, interrogate, spy? Perhaps with the years of mental training and desensitizing in academy I can. I just don't know.

What about the canon timeline? Already I have my work cut out for me, to even try to fill the shoes of the Shikamaru that was always so calm and collected even in life death situations in the manga. Should I try to keep the integrity of the timeline? To just be acquaintances with Naruto. I mean, was it due to his status as social pariah that allowed him to use his Secret Friendship Conversion Jutsu on the numerous enemies he will face? If I become friends with him would he be weaker or stronger? What happens if he just dies against Haku or some unknown Chūnin in his journey? What happens if I just die in some random C ranked mission? No, I cannot just keep to canon. First of all, I don't even know if this Konoha is the same Konoha in the Naruto universe. Events in the manga may either be completely false or true. Even if the manga is completely true, by the virtue of me being here canon is already dead. I cannot do everything the same as Manga Shikamaru did. I will take careful note of the things that happened in the manga and this world, but I won't rely on it.

With that in mind, I need to become strong. I need to at least reach the levels Manga Shikamaru did. From all accounts, canon Shikamaru was a genius but lazy. His skills in combat involve ridiculous strategic thinking and his shadow techniques. In my old world I would describe myself as logical and rational, but not intelligent like Shikamaru was. Can I ever hope to fill in his shoes? The course of action then is to be unassuming. I cannot just reveal my hand or foreknowledge as I don't think a trip to the Interrogation and Torture Unit would be very fun. Perhaps I can befriend Naruto and Sasuke? Push Sakura and Ino to train better? It doesn't matter. I need to become strong. Strong no matter the cost.

Already I feel my heart pumping as I contemplate my course of action. I've always felt that my old life was cut short. This was a blank slate. I could be _great_. Now it's time to explore my 'new' body. I try to push myself up and then I promptly remembered why I was in the hospital. I was physically _exhausted_. My body feels weak and sluggish, though my mind reminds clear and free of pain. Painkillers? I let my eyes explore my room. It was pretty much a classic hospital room. No special chakra dispensing machine anywhere. It was normal. For a second I thought I was hallucinating about my memories; that I was still dreaming. It was then my parents came in with a doctor in tow.

"Otou-san, Kaa-san!" It seems that my mannerisms are well ingrained, and I felt like crying in relief. That was weird. I never would have thought that I would have such a strong reaction to strangers…no they're my parents, as my child self asserted himself. Yoshino looks to be in her mid-twenties and at a first glance could be dismissed as a normal civilian housewife. It was the way she walked that disproved that notion. From _my_ memories, she was loving, caring and she was my mother! Shikaku looks calm and aloof. He wears what I assume to be a deer skin coat which looks rugged and well worn.

"How are you feeling?" The soft melodious voice of my mother washed over me. This was my mother, I knew it in my heart.

"Tired." My voice in comparison sounds weak and feeble.

"After the ritual…well," Shikaku rubbed his head in a sheepish manner, "it seems that the ritual severely drained your chakra. Heh. Most people who go through it only suffer a little chakra exhaustion, but it seems that you're quite special eh. You've also managed to increase your yin chakra levels by quite a bit. Congratulations. Seems like nearly dying helped a bit." Shikaku gave a crooked smile.

Yoshino smacked Shikaku on the head.

"Don't listen to your father. You're lucky you're not dead right now young man. You better not die doing stupid things otherwise I'll revive you and kill you myself!" For a moment a dark aura almost seems to seep behind her frame. An eep came out of my mouth as I stared fearfully. She suddenly smiled and hugged me tightly. I patted her back awkwardly as I lie in bed.

It seems that I had been sleeping for 3 days straight and that I could be discharged as long as I took care not to do anything strenuous and ate a lot. Our way home as I walked down the street from the hospital to the Nara Compounds confirmed my belief that I'm in the Naruto World. Traditional Japanese housing throughout the place, with no sight of insanely high skyscrapers or cars. As I walked down with my parents, I saw the usual fare, merchants, bars, restaurants. I was dressed in a black T-shirt and shorts with sandals. It seems that the Land of Fire is aptly named. It was hot.

The Nara Compounds were situated away from the main bustling streets and near the Western forests. There's a dusty trail that leads to the compounds, and I can see the deer that the Naras were supposedly famous for grazing peacefully everywhere inside the grounds. And I mean everywhere. Our house isn't as big as I thought it would be. It wasn't a mansion or anything, but big enough to hold many rooms. During our walk from the hospital I've deduced from the way that Yoshino and Shikaku interact that the manga was quite true about their relationship. Shikaku was whipped and Yoshino seems to be the dominating partner. Really. Great. My parents were probably into BDSM. I mean, Shadow Binding techniques? I shook my heads off my thoughts. I didn't need that image in my head ever.

Dinner was fairly normal. It was mainly a quiet clattering of chopsticks and Yoshino forcing food into my bowl and mouth. At the end, Shikaku was forced to help out with cleaning the dishes. It seems that before the accident, the daily routine would be: breakfast, and Yoshino would teach Shikamaru the Japanese language, writing, calligraphy and more words to pronounce. Then it would tending to the deer and helping out with cleaning and general house chores. At around noon, Yoshino would start going through general flexibility exercises. Lunch. More chores. Some very basic katas. Free time which usually involve Shikamaru sleeping while looking up at clouds. Meditation to try to get in tune with one's chakra. A game of shogi with Shikaku. Dinner. More chores. Bedtime stories involving what I now recognise as basic propaganda about the Will of Fire, virtuous and brave ninjas, myths and legends such as the White Wolf Ninja and sages.

It seems that in the past, Yoshino is loving and stern, always trying to trick Shikamaru into doing chores and mothering him at every opportunity. In contrast, Shikaku already treats Shikamaru as an adult. A genius teaching another genius. Only truly communicating with their games of shogi.

From my past conversations with Shikaku, it seems that unlocking chakra is usually done at the age of 3 for clan children, and basically involves the parent giving what seems to be the insertion of artificial chakra to help stimulate the child's chakra system, increasing its size and help the child recognise their chakra. From then onwards the child would usually meditate to try to move their chakra from tenketsu point to point. It seems that the amount of time this would take would vary from child to child, but the fastest is generally at the age of 5, simply due to the amount of concentration to consciously move chakra from one point to another. From past conversations it seems that civilians usually unlock their chakra system at 5 simply because they have less chakra than clan children and they need that extra time to increase their chakra size before they can even begin to manipulate it.

As I lay on my bed, trying to sleep I pondered about my own chakra system. I could feel it now, after I had adjusted to my child body. It feels like a nagging feeling, a swirl of emotions that permeates my body. The air is saturated with it. Everyone is saturated with it. Most of the surroundings have a dull background chakra, but I could feel two distinct chakra systems in our house, one feels red hot while the other was feels like tempered steel. I wonder how I can cope with living here in this new world. Already when I think about my family, I think of Yoshino and Shikaku. As I imagine my old family, I don't feel anything. No stirring or emotions. Close friends become blurry and acquaintances vanish. My memories were blurring already. My old life is over. My life as Shikamaru starts today.

**Authors Note:**

I have been inspired by a lot of OC-inserts and Naruto fanfiction and I've always wanted to write an OC-insert into the Naruto world. Shikamaru is quite possibly the quintessential master strategist. Calm and logical, insanely intelligent. I've always wanted to see how a random person in our society can fit into the ninja world. Especially when they have the shoes of Shikamaru to fill.

This is AU simply because of the combining of consciousness. Events would change. People would die. Some parts of Naruto will change. Parts would be greyer instead of black and white. This is the ninja world.

Muhahahahahahaha

Criticism is welcome. Please give feedback if the beginning is too stilted, conversation is too weird or maybe if some characters are out of character.


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors Note:** Criticism is welcome!

**Disclaimer: **Last time I checked, I do not own Naruto. This is a non-profit work of fiction and all copyrights to the Naruto manga and anime are retained by their original owners.

**Chapter 1: Peace**

Waking up was a scary moment. For a heartbeat I thought it was all a dream. Then thoughts of my life as Shikamaru pushed to the forefront of my mind and I use my _tiny_ hands to push back the quilts. Not a dream then. The very first thing I did on my new day was to catalogue my memories. It was frightening. Not knowing who else was inside your brain. I was on autopilot the whole of yesterday, my child self taking control. I found that if I wanted to, I could completely hide away my memories of my past life. It was already _dulling_ and I fear that I would forget it all. I can't lose my urgency to become strong, otherwise…I just can't. I cannot be a normal child. Shikamaru never had the drive or reason to ever truly _try_ but I do, I have to become strong.

In the manga, he was shown to be so lazy that he couldn't be bothered to train. He played shogi games with Asuma and Shikaku. He slept under the clouds, he was practically chronically asleep in academy. In fact, the general impression is that he did the bare minimum until his first mission as Chūnin to capture Sasuke back. It was then that he was shown to actually start trying to train.

Shaking my head, I examine my chibi self's memories. Speaking his first words at the age of 6 months and being self-conscious at an early age. I don't know if insane intellect is the norm for the Nara Clan, simply because there was only two Naras that had any show time at all. Shikaku and Shikamaru. Both of them were definitely not the paradigm of normal. Not that I know what a normal childhood counts in this world. I mean...in a world with child soldiers and a general disregard for physics, what was normal? Either way, playing around, sleeping, eating was the norm routine. It's just that in this case, playing around involves shogi games with Shikaku and hiding away in the fields with the deer to get away from Yoshino and chores.

Indeed, though he developed incredibly quickly, he was still a child. I saw already what made him develop his almost crippling sense of laziness. He wanted to be _normal_. He aspired to be _mediocre_. He was practically _childish_ in that respect. Shikamaru only did the things that interested him. The learning of calligraphy, katas and general flexibility exercises with Yoshino was because it was too troublesome to not do it. Meditation and shogi he wholeheartedly did because it was interesting. Plus, meditation was pretty much sleeping right?

From all accounts, Yoshino was a 'normal' mother, she had already started chibi Shikamaru on basic reading and writing, flexibility exercises, reading bedtime stories, teaching about chakra and its usage and only recently started pestering both Shikas into doing household chores. In contrast, Shikaku is away from home most of time, presumably doing ninja work and clan stuff, only coming home an hour before dinner. I guessed correctly when I assumed that Shikaku was a distant father figure, with his only interaction with his son through shogi games. Apart from the odd tidbits on various meditation poses and esoteric knowledge, and the constant shogi games, Shikaku was distant. It was funny then, to see that Shikamaru connect more with Shikaku than Yoshino. Shikaku never gave any extra pressure or notice to Shikamaru's genius state of mind, unlike Yoshino. He gave Shikamaru the choice of being normal. Seriously though. Out of all the rookie nine, it was Shikamaru that I could have best emulated. Sharp beyond his childlike years. Given the life death situation a few days before, it was expected that I would change a little in maturity. With chibi self's mannerisms ingrained in me, it was _easy_ to emulate him.

I turned my mind to the ritual that supposedly all Naras do. From Shikaku's explanation, all shadow techniques that the Nara clan was famous for utilises Yin-Yang Chakra. Every living thing in the world has chakra. Nature Chakra permeates the entire air. In the human body, yin-yang chakra are accumulated near the stomach, called the _hara. _From there, it moves through the chakra pathways, where there are on average, 361 nodes known as _tenketsu_. There are eight special tenketsu known as the gates, which I assume limits chakra flow and production to stabilize the body. Yin chakra, meaning mental energy while Yang chakra means physical energy.

Generally speaking, clan children start off with more chakra than civilian children and their chakra coils are usually bigger. Combined with the early meditation techniques to access one's chakra, civilians have to catch up a lot later on.

Basically, Yin-Yang Chakra is used for everything that wasn't elemental ninjutsu and is the 'pure' form of chakra. Each and every ninja imbues their own 'personality' and 'blood' into their chakra. Uchihas and Hyugas have extra tenketsu in their eyes to utilise and facilitate their dojutsu. Naras go through the ritual to imbue their body with 'shadowy' characteristic. It seems that everybody experiences a drop in chakra levels, and a slight increase in yin chakra levels. It was just an extreme reaction for me. And the addition of an extra consciousness. The ritual involved complicated fuuinjutsus and colloquially known as 'gazing into the abyss'. So why was it different for me? I mentally added fuuinjutsus to the growing list of things to learn.

It's really the reason why even people with the Sharingan don't just copy the shadow techniques or utilise any random technique, and usually only copy elemental ninjutsus. For example, the Akimichi Clan techniques require a pretty specific body type to effectively utilise it. The Nara Clan techniques require the ritual, specialized training in order to utilise them effectively. The years of genetics as a clan also helps in that regard. I hypothesis then, the reason why the Kage no Bunshin Jutsu is in the Scroll of Forbidden Jutsus. It's because it doesn't require any specialized training or genetics or a specific body type. Just vast amounts of chakra in exchange for an insanely useful tool.

Breakfast is mainly a quiet affair. Calligraphy lessons with Yoshino began straight afterwards. It's hard. Using a brush is much harder than a pen. Even with Chibi's lessons, it doesn't make it any easier, especially with tiny hands. By the time Yoshino judged my calligraphy to have improved by whatever standard she was using, we started our flexibility exercises and basic warming up. If she saw any difference from my old disinterested state to a now focused attitude during her calligraphy lessons, she didn't mention so. The flexibility exercises were numerous and actually exhausting for a 4 year old body. It is freaky to see how the human body can twist and turn, but I guess it's important for the more evasive maneuvers I see people take. By the time we got to the katas, a sheen of sweat had built up on my body as Yoshino delighted in correcting my stances.

"Kaa-san, when do we start using chakra in our taijutsus?"

Yoshino actually seems quite happy to see that I am taking interest in the exercises. She slips into what I'll call Lecturer mode as she explains, "Well, you can only start once you manage to move your chakra from tenketsu points from tenketsu points smoothly, and then into your muscle groups. It takes around 4 years of consciously moving chakra to augment one's muscles before it becomes second nature, and even then, you'll still need to train your muscles and chakra in order to increase your strength and speed. So more training for you" She finishes off with a grin. I seriously think she's way too happy at me actually taking interest in the training. It's scary. I think I could see a shadowy darkish aura behind her back as she ups my pace.

Soon, after I had finished, it was free time. Basically a chance for old Shikamaru to sleep and watch the deer as they move about. For me though, I quickly found a secluded area in the compounds and sat down in the meditation pose. As said before, it takes about 2 years after the child first unlocked their chakra before they can smoothly shift their chakra around in their body, moving from tenketsu point to tenketsu point. It takes longer still to move chakra to various muscles and specific body parts in order to augment one's body. For past Shikamaru, his only progress has been to gauge his chakra levels, and locating where it is in his body. Trying to even shift out the chakra in the hara in sizeable amounts into the chakra coils was incredibly difficult. As for describing what chakra feels like? It's kind of like describing colors to a blind person. I won't even bother.

But I have an advantage. I was born in a world without chakra. Despite my 'new' body as Shikamaru, by cross referencing both my experiences, I quickly located my hara. Yin and Yang chakra was separated in two. They didn't mix inside the hara. Instead, it was like oil and water. As I observed it, barely perceptible amounts are already automatically moving into my chakra coils. In my chakra coils it slowly disappeared. It was an equilibrium. Chakra that wasn't used just disappeared into my surroundings.

From the way my parents had described my next step, it was difficult to move a _sizeable_ amount into the coils. The person decides the ratio they go in, and as it goes through the gate outside the hara, it combines. Usually, the ratio is half yin half yang by default. But I could tell already that my yin chakra levels is much bigger than my yang. It is about twenty times bigger. If I had to compare them, it would be like a fine mist for the yang, and a few drops of water for the yin.

Concentrating, I attempt to move my chakra through the gate and into my coils. It was almost like watching paint dry. MOVE! I almost thought it would be like the other times before, but then, slowly but surely, as if reacting to my will it slowly shifted. It was slow. In the end, I think it took about 10 minutes to shift about practically all of my yang chakra and a drop of my yin chakra through my gate, and into the chakra coils. As I try to shift it from the gate to my other tenketsu points. It refused to budge. It took around 3 minutes for the chakra to slowly disappear from my coils. As I observe my physical and mental state, I realised that shifting chakra from the hara to the coils didn't change anything. As the chakra disappeared though, I felt tired. Physically and mentally drained. So it seems that having more yin would improve mental facilities. It made sense. I had always wondered how reflexes and reaction times are so incredibly quick in the manga. It seems that yang chakra are utilised to increase strength and speed. Yin chakra are instead utilized to improve reaction times and speed of thought in battle.

As I lay down on the grass, feeling utterly weak, my chakra levels started refilling. I kept my mental timer on as I counted the time needed to refill my chakra levels. It took 20 minutes. But there was a change already. My yang chakra was now a single drop, as I visualized it. My yin chakra was still a few drops. I have to ask Yoshino how to increase chakra levels, regeneration, and speed of transfer. Chakra was literally the lifeblood of shinobis. I got up and stretched out my muscles.

When I got back to the house, Yoshino seems surprised to see me back already.

"Lunch isn't ready yet."

"Kaa-san…I did it."

If Yoshino was surprised to hear my statement, she didn't show it.

"Show me," she commanded, as she shifted her full attention to me.

Again I concentrated deeply. It took about 10 seconds to locate the hara, before I started shifting my chakra. This time, it took around 7 minutes. The chakra in the gate was again, immovable.

Yoshino hmmed as she seemingly ponders about my newfound abilities in chakra manipulation. Then with a smile that seemed almost devious, she said "Well. That's only the first step. You still can't move your chakra from the first gate to your hands and that's _basic._" She almost drawled out the last words. I recognised it as what it was. A challenge.

She seemingly manifests a book out of thin air.

"'Chakra for beginners', it's one of the books we give to beginners like you."

Noting my interest, she said "You've always wanted to learn our special techniques right? If you can finish the exercises at the end of the book by the end of this week…I'll start teaching you clan techniques. If not…well, there's always more chores around the house." Seriously. Her smile is scary. The carrot and the stick. I wasn't _that_ disinterested in the past to warrant this treatment…right?

With a smile of my own, "Interesting". I decide to accept.

**Author's Note:**

There's a surprising lack of knowledge on the chakra system as a whole. There's no knowledge of how to increase it. No knowledge of how you suddenly magically create fire from nowhere. Clones were dismissed as "Cool. SOLID clones. But otherwise pretty normal, I mean, look at this fireball I just created, or I'm walking on trees!" Seemingly no exploration of its abilities to memorize things. Not even in the period that he was training with Jiraiya. Seriously.

Criticism is welcome.


	3. Chapter 3

**Authors Note:** Criticism is welcome! Compliments…are also welcome.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto.

**Chapter 2: Test**

Carrying the book away like a squirrel with an acorn, I settled down near the fields with the deer again. This place is great. It's calming and soothing. I glance down at the small book. With tentative fingers and a throbbing heart, I open it. It's blank. Annoyed, I flip through the pages. The pages are a crisp blank white. Genjutsu? Fuuinjutsu? Interesting. My first test then. What was it that she said? Moving chakra from the first gate to your hands is basic.

Generally speaking, moving chakra from the hara to the hands are the first step. There is a cluster of tenketsu points near the hand which make it the easiest place to move chakra there. I went into my meditation pose. From the time it took me to get here, my chakra levels were only half full. So what did it mean then…was my chakra levels so low that it only took around 20 minutes to fill back up? Just moving chakra from my hara into my first tenketsu point took that much effort from me. How hard was it to actually use a jutsu? I always thought that the three fundamental jutsu that was required to complete the academy test were really easy. I'm not so sure now. Concentrating, I attempt to just move half of my chakra levels out. It was hard. To even think of splitting and dividing the chakra was difficult. I seriously doubt any normal 4 year old child can focus this hard to get out the chakra. Thankfully, I wasn't normal. I mean I had the extra consciousness to increase my mentality and focus. Plus, I was either a genius or not.

Moving half of my chakra out was significantly harder than moving all of it out. The mental strain to get it out was actually incredible. How do you move chakra from point to point? Do chakra react to will and intent? Is chakra alive? For all I know, there's this magical substance that normally enables only about 5 elements to be formed. So why those elements specifically? Why do people have some affinities for certain types? If super-fast healing, gravity control, resurrection was available, what was the limit? Is there a conceptual limit to the powers of chakra?

I guess I can say that I did not understand chakra. At all. The first person to be born with chakra was apparently the Sage of the Six Paths. He supposedly realised how to use said chakra through intense meditation as an adult while he travelled the world. Then gained so much chakra that he could subdue the Juubi and sealed it with his newly created fuuinjutsus. Then he created the moon. At least, that was the story that chibi Shikamaru was read. In the manga, that Sage was shown to be real. The Bijuu all but confirmed it. It was insane.

I couldn't understand that, for without starting help from my parents, how could I ever think of utilizing my chakra at such a young age? There's a reason why chakra was unlocked early on. The forced exposure to chakra stimulates the hara and gates into creating more chakra. If it's delayed too much, the coils would not be big enough or the gates themselves may not work properly. It's why a random civilian adult cannot just one day decide to meditate to open their chakra. Even with a lifetime of meditating, it was impossible.

Without my parents to unlock my chakra, there's no doubt I wouldn't be able to utilise my chakra. So the sage supposedly meditated and found his hara, and gained godlike powers. I guess it's why people think he's just a myth.

Turning my thoughts back to my problem of moving chakra, I found that it was still incredibly slow. At last, I managed to move my chakra outside my hara. Moving from the first gate to my hands, supposedly the easiest tenketsu point to move to, was said to be completely different from moving chakra from the hara to the first gate. In fact, Shikaku had explained it as comparing wood and an apple. Shikaku was annoying.

Either way, visualizing my hara takes work. If I had to compare mental strain, it would be like trying to get a thread through a needle. Especially when said thread was frayed and you have big giant clumsy fingers. Currently, with the added advantage of a higher than normal mental facility, it takes me ten seconds.

Ten seconds. A shinobi can do a lot in one second. Ten seconds was a battle. Ten seconds to access the hara was like asking a shinobi to wait as you take medicine, spout off words of wisdoms or explaining how you managed to trick the enemy with a genius method. Completely illogical.

As I rested under the beautiful clouds and blue sky, my chakra slowly begins refilling again. I was getting more and more chakra. That's for certain. My yang chakra was actually increasing at a faster rate than my yin chakra. It seems then that my hypothesis was correct. Using up chakra was slowly getting my coils to develop more. Using up till it nearly becomes empty develops it even more. As they say, demand creates supply. Good. I'm just not sure if this was an efficient way of increasing my chakra levels. Suffice to say that for the next hour I practiced several more times, regenerating a little faster, and gaining a bit more chakra in my hara each time. Moving the chakra from the first gate was a lost cause.

As it is now, I had refilled my yang chakra about 5 times, while my yin still had more than half left. I stopped. I was hungry. Not the hungry as in I'm feeling like a little junk food or chips. It was more like the hunger when you had not eaten for a whole day. It feels like I haven't eaten in ages! In addition to my hunger, I felt weak. Headaches and physically shaking, with my stomach growling, I reluctantly went back into my house, in fact…it was practically the first time I 'remembered' to come back to lunch on time.

Yoshino…my mother was laying down lunch. Food had never seen so tempting, and if she gave any notice to my growling stomach, she didn't give any indication of doing so. Except for that knowing smile on her face.

"Hmm. Never had you coming back on your own accord. Hungry? Of course you are," she smiles as she heaps up double my usual serving into my bowl.

I don't think I would describe my lunch, except to say that it was nice. And filling. Emptying your chakra levels seems to increase your appetite. So chakra was filled again after you finished eating. It seems then that my hara converts energy into chakra. For now, eating replenished my yin and yang chakra, but I hypothesis that after a certain amount of time, if I don't sleep, my yin chakra levels would not fill themselves up. I did not discuss anything with Yoshino, nothing about the book. It was a test of my independence. Of my newly found focus in learning. Shinobis seem to love tests.

Several observations about chakra became known to me then. Chakra is literally the lifeblood of shinobi. It is life. I sense that if I wanted to, I can take out more yang chakra from my hara, but that would most likely kill me. Chakra was linked to your physical and mental state. If you run out of yang, you become physically tired, and eating food or gaining energy is required to replenish yang. If you run out of yin, you become mentally tired, and meditation and sleeping is required to replenish it. Was this why Shikamaru was constantly sleeping? In that case then, as you run or do strenuous physical activity, the hara would subconsciously leak more yang chakra out. If I think too hard, hara would leak out more yin. It was interesting, to note the importance of chakra. I had always thought of it as independent of the mental and physical body, as just an extra attachment that allows for supernatural abilities. But it was literally your physical and mental state. In that case, the dangers of chakra exhaustion actually made sense, and why it would kill you.

During my lunch, I constantly try to visualize my hara quickly. Before, it took me about 10 seconds, and by the end of lunch, it took about 5 seconds. It's an improvement, but not much. To be able to do it automatically at any sign of danger is required for any shinobi.

For now though, moving practically all of my yang chakra with my yin corresponding to that same amount was the easiest step for me. Splitting up the default ratio was considerably harder. For the next hour or so, I attempt to move the chakra from my first gate past the coils into my hand. As said before, it was like watching paint dry. In fact, it refused to budge from the first gate. It's frustrating. Even my high reserves of yin were running low, and already, my mind was slower. As I lay down looking up at the clouds, I felt tiny.

By the time I woke up, my yin and yang reserves were back up, and it was around dinner time. The sun had set as I trudged back home. Shikaku was already there, helping out set out the table, lazily moving things with his shadow. Wait what. Shikaku seems to notice my dumbstruck gaze as he flaunts his shadow technique. Generally speaking, the most basic of shadow techniques were 2D. They moved on flat inanimate surfaces. The next step is to move it across a living body. The next step after that, were 3D shadows. How does that even work?

I finally found my voice as I hesitantly asked "What do shadows feel like?"

Shikaku looks up at me and shrugs his shoulders while taking back his shadows. Great. Now I had to master the technique to know. I seriously wonder if manga Shikamaru became a shinobi because it was more interesting. Either way, my parents were pretty tricky. Kind of like bribing a kid with candy except with cool techniques. In this sense then, all clan children want to become shinobi. Their whole life is groomed for it, stories are read depicting the ninja life. Killing to advance the village is expected. Killing is the norm. To suddenly become a pacifist was highly suspicious. I don't think many of the clan children will ever suddenly decide that they want to become a civilian. When their whole life they had been bought up on the whole ninja fever, and their parents expected it for them, it was practically impossible for clan children to want to become a civilian.

In this case then, Shikamaru was different. He only wanted to do things that interested him. His parents then actually have to interest him in the ninja arts. Already, as I examine my chibi self's memories, I recognize the early attempts to get him interested. They knew already back then, that if they pushed Shikamaru too hard, he would just resist every attempt. I think then, it was why Shikamaru could be so relaxed in the manga.

After dinner, is my usual game of shogi with Shikaku. I had only ever played chess in my old life, but shogi had aspects that were similar. They had the pawns, bishop, rook, horse. If the king died, then the game was over. The difference was in the promotion and the stealing of pieces. Once a piece got to a certain point of the board, it could get promoted. There it gained extra moves apart from the usual. If a piece gets taken away by the opponent, then the opponent can play it back down on the board. It was interesting. Compared with chess, it was more complicated. There were much more branches, actions of play.

Shikamaru was a genius. At 4 he was already proficient. He could read twenty moves ahead and as I play against Shikaku, I almost had the sense that I would win for the first time ever. Let it be said that Shikaku is annoying. I think that's the best way to describe Shikamaru's battle of wits with his father. Shikaku loves to taunt by letting the opponent think they have a chance, as he then completely demolishes them. It's what happened in this game. I think seeing Shikaku's smug smile get wiped off at the end of shogi match was what motivated Shikamaru to be so good at shogi. It was a _challenge_ and it was _interesting_.

"Hmm. That was a close match," Shikaku's insufferable smile made it obvious what he actually thought, and seemingly as an afterthought, "so how's progress?"

"Still can't move from the gate to my hands," I sullenly replied.

"I'll give you tips if you do my share of the chores for the whole year."

I glared at him, "Tch. I'll figure it out myself."

"What do you think Yoshino would do if you don't finish the book by the end of the week?"

And there was the crux of the problem. Yoshino was scary. Somewhere and somehow, during the past few weeks, the family dynamics had changed. As Shikamaru had grown older and nearer the ritual, Yoshino had started including Shikamaru in the chores , and while she was still loving and caring, her sadistic side was coming out more and more, and Shikaku started being more sarcastic and annoying than ever before.

"I'll finish it."

"Here. You'll need the energy," said Shikaku as he handed me a basket of fruit. This is just weird. How are they manifesting these things out of thin air? As I took the fruit basket and turned to leave, I swear I could see a glint of pride in his eyes. Probably just my imagination.

After the game, it was free time again. For Shikamaru in the past, this would mean reading a few books. For me though, I had to figure out how to access the book. It's taunting me. As I examine my hara, my yin reserves had fallen. So it seems that shogi does utilise yin chakra. Well. No time like the present to start shifting chakra.

I blearily pushed the quilt back with my hands. No progress in that front. On the upside, my yang reserves had practically increased ten times what it was before, and my yin had doubled. Accessing my hara only takes about a second now, and moving chakra from my hara to the first gate takes about a minute. Breakfast was like any other breakfast. They say that the second day of any routine was the hardest, and this was no exception.

They lied when they say that it would be easier as the days went by. The third day was exactly like my second. I was constantly mentally and physically fatigued as I tried to move past my chakra block.

In fact, it would be on my 4th day, during my free time after lunch before I finally made progress.

MOVE! I willed the chakra. By now I was actually quite frustrated, angry and scared that I couldn't move it from the gate to my hands. Maybe I could take up on Shikaku's offer? NEVER! The chakra seems to finally surge out from the first gate into my hands.

Intent. Intent was the key. That or my increased chakra reserves. More questions and no answers. By now, I think I have given up ever understanding how chakra would work.

Ignoring my musing, I felt a sense of accomplishment. I did it. I actually did it. In retrospect, my parents wouldn't have given me the book if they didn't think I could do it, but still. A thin sheen of blue seems to cover my hand as I finally moved chakra from the gate to my hands. The blue tinge is barely perceptible, and already my reserves are drained as I move chakra to it. I actually did it. I quickly held up the book as it shifted under my hands. I guess I was right when it was a genjutsu.

Most of the information there was pretty basic. It did however, detail various new exercises such as the leaf concentration exercise to help with visualizing one's chakra and increase one's chakra control.

On the back of the book, there was a list of exercises like they said there would be.

Exercise 1: Move chakra from hara to hand.

Exercise 2: Put a leaf on top of one's palm and move it in circles.

Exercise 3: Circulate your chakra throughout your whole body till blue sheen appears around you.

Well. I finished the first one already. So that's always a plus. The second exercise seems like an extension of the first exercise. The third one is just gaining enough chakra reserves to move around the whole body.

Sigh. I guess it's more sleeping and eating for a while. Actually…that sounds great.


End file.
